Remarkably Unimpressive
by crazykitsune17
Summary: One shot. Young Genkai x Younger Toguro. Rated for language and sexual references. Left punch, right punch, snap kick, feint to the right and knock ‘em dead...


A/N: Just to clear things up, Genkai and Toguro are in their younger years… No old fogey-on-steroid-taking-demon here. ;) Please read and review!

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Disclaimer: No own YYH. That privilege belongs to Togashi-sama, whom I both loathe and adore. I loathe him because he and his creation, Yu Yu Hakusho, has taken over my life, and he is controlling me right now from his little artist's studio. I have no free will. I am under his control. But I love him because he made the goodness that is YYH. Yay for him. I don't own this, okay?

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**Remarkably Unimpressive**

by crazykitsune17

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Left punch, right punch, snap kick, feint to the right and knock 'em dead.

I continued my workout at the dojo, concentrating solely on punching that stupid little punching bag in the center of the room. My hair started to creep out of its ponytail and get in the way of my training, but I brushed it back and continued to punch the stuffing out of that bag.

The door opened. I didn't bother to turn around and see who it was; if I were to get any stronger, I couldn't waste time chatting with visitors.

"Genkai, take a break," said the voice of the one who'd just walked in. I lowered my fists as I recognized who it was, but I didn't turn around to face him. "You've been at that punching bag all morning," he continued. "You'll wear yourself out before our date tonight."

I grabbed a towel from the rack and wiped my sweaty face dry. I turned around to finally look at the man in the doorway.

"Toguro, I thought we clarified this," I said irritably. "This is not a date. We're just going out to eat – as _teammates,_ nothing more – to discuss our training."

"Sure, babe, whatever you say." Toguro flung his arm around my shoulder, pinning me to his chest and kissing me lightly on the cheek. I pounded on his arm, and he let go.

"Come on now, Genkai," he joked. "I thought you've been training. Those wimpy fists hardly put a dent in me." He pulled off his sunglasses in an annoyingly suave fashion and sauntered into the next room like he owned the place.

What an asshole! I gathered up a fraction of my Spirit Energy and shot it from my index finger, giving him a nice little shock to show I wasn't pleased with his arrogance.

He clapped a hand to the back of his neck where I had hit him and turned around. He even had the gall to smile. I glared in return, hoping that maybe once, just this once, Toguro would get the idea that I didn't like him.

At least, I don't like him the way he thinks I do. I like him as a friend and a teammate, but certainly not as a lover! I can't waste time on relationships. Especially not now, with the cryptic Dark Tournament coming. This was about the only thing Toguro and I had in common – we both wanted to win it.

So we had joined together, forming Team Toguro to compete in the Dark Tournament. This tournament would give us both an opportunity to improve and show off our fighting strength to demons from the dark underworld of Makai.

The Tournament was to be held on some place called Hanging Neck Island in about one month, and if I didn't spend every second training, there would be no hope for our team to make it to the finals. Demons were not to be underestimated. If they made it this far, they had to be super powerful.

Toguro and I were good, but would we be good enough to win the Dark Tournament? Not if he kept screwing around trying to get a date with me!

I sighed. It was no use going back to my training. Toguro's intrusion had ruined my incentive. I no longer wanted to fight punching bags. I wanted to fight _him_…

I slipped on my outdoor shoes and re-braided my hair. I didn't need Toguro's teasing on how my hair looked when I asked him to fight. I got enough of his crap just from its color…

"Martial artists don't have pink hair," he told me once.

"Well, this one does!" I retorted. "It's my natural color, and I'm not changing it!"

"People will underestimate you if you walk into the arena with that hair."

"So what! I can have pink hair and be a good fighter all at the same time. Besides, I'm already underestimated for being a girl, and I fight better than most men I know!"

"All right, all right, you've made your point. Just don't break a nail in battle." He winked.

"You jerk!"

My blood seethed with anger and frustration at Toguro. He was such a… brainless slacker! And the worst part of it all is… I still like him.

It's a love-hate relationship the two of us share. A lot of the time he just pisses me off, but then later, he can be as sweet as cigarettes.

But now just wasn't one of those times.

I threw open the door to the adjacent room and tossed a uniform to Toguro. "We're going outside. Let's go!" The grin he had glued on his face was not helping my mood; I stomped my foot and waited for him to change.

He was taking so long, I was starting to think he was up to something. Either that or he had somehow entangled himself within the clothing and was slowly suffocating to death… Part of me hoped for the latter. And yet… the masochistic side of me secretly prayed he was planning something outrageous…

"What are you doing in there!" I shouted impatiently. "Having a baby?"

Toguro walked out of the changing room. "No, but do you want us to?"

I would've been infuriated with that remark had I not been distracted by what he was wearing. Instead of the gi I had given him, he was wearing a pair of classy black trousers with a shiny-buckled belt and a tight black T-shirt that complemented his chiseled chest. On his feet were spit-shined loafers. The idiot probably thought so high of himself that he probably even used his own spit to shine them…

After a moment of gaping at his outfit, I asked him, "Just what do you think you're wearing?"

Toguro didn't answer. He only extended his arm to me like some sort of gentleman and grinned in a way that made me feel wary.

I refused to take his arm. What a fool to think I would fall for the nice outfit and kind gesture trick! It might work in a romance novel to some dizzy blonde girl in the city, but not to me! All the bastard probably wanted was sex anyway…

"You said you wanted to go out," he said, putting his arm down. "So let's go out."

"I said I wanted to go _outside_!" I seethed, furious with his cheek. "That means I want to fight you, not court you! Or do I have to spell it out?"

If there's one thing I can't stand, it's an idiot… Toguro definitely fell under that category.

Toguro's eyes twinkled and he tried to look sweet and innocent like a newborn puppy. The only thing I saw in that face was the word "asshole" scribbled across his forehead in big, bold letters.

"Well, Genkai, maybe you _should_ spell it out next time. Now you went and got me dressed up for nothing," he said.

Oh, right. Like this was _my _fault.

I was about to say something nasty to him when he swept me into his massive arms and all but cooed, "Well, as long as I'm dressed up, let's go out, shall we?"

I told him I would gladly make him _un_dressed if it meant not going out. Unfortunately, he took that completely the wrong way…

"Oh-ho! So that's how you want it, eh?" he asked in a voice that made me want to vomit.

"That was a threat, not an invitation to have sex!" I screamed. Had there been any neighbors around the dojo, I'm sure we would've attracted more than just their attention by now. Stupid Toguro… he _always_ has to go and make a scene like that… What an ego-maniac.

"All right, all right, let's just go," Toguro said, putting his arm around my shoulder. Just when I thought he was going to start acting mature, the buffoon goes and puts his arm around me.

And then it started to rain.

The rain came down in sheets, a barrage of droplets not unlike the barrage of punches I wanted to throw at Toguro's haughty face.

And just to make me mad, I'm sure, Toguro held out his hand to the pouring rain and said, "These raindrops feel like your punches, Genkai. Weak and inflicting no pain."

Honestly, first this jerk wants to date me, then he wants to have sex, now all he wants to do is insult me. Will he ever make up his mind! Another thing I can't stand is indecisive people.

Which is why I wasted no time in deciding to push Toguro into the mud.

"You spend so much time thinking up cute little insults that you forget to build up your own strength," I said coldly. "Now shut up and let's turn back already. Clearly the heavens are on my side today. They don't want me to go on a date either." I indicated the stormy rain clouds in case Toguro's pea-sized brain needed a reminder that it was raining.

"Ah, maybe," he said, not missing a beat, "but the heavens are on my side as well. Here's a cave."

I groaned. I could only imagine what was going through his mind right now… One boy, one girl, and a cave. Even someone as dumb as Toguro could do that kind of math.

"Come on, Genkai," he said, grabbing my hand and dragging me toward the cave. I refused to let him, digging my heels into the mud and staying put. Toguro grunted, yanking me out. "Come on!" he said. "It's just a cave!"

Right. Just a cave. More like sex chamber to him…

Toguro leaned down next to my ear and huskily whispered, "Come on, Genkai. It's just a cave. Or are you scared?"

It's a complicated feeling, I thought about telling him. It is not the cave I am afraid of, but rather _you_. Or more like you _and_ the cave put together… But, of course, I didn't tell him that. The only kind of complexity his mind could withhold was the complexity of keeping his muscles as massive as they were.

And just because they're massive doesn't mean they're impressive! And just because his brain is far from massive doesn't mean he's impressive either. All around, Toguro was just a remarkably unimpressive person.

And yet I still followed him into the cave… Stupid persuasive bastard…

The cave was dark, as I feared. It was long, too, and fairly empty. Smooth rocks made up the walls and ceiling. There was a steady _drip, drip_ from an invisible stalactite.

I wrung my hair out, purposely pretending not to see Toguro's shoe perched nicely where the water would land. For the full effect, I whipped my damp braid right in Toguro's face, smiling with satisfaction at the _smack!_ noise it made.

But my satisfaction quickly crumbled to dust as I felt that huge arm full of unimpressive muscles lock tightly across my chest, its movement forcing Toguro's face to float down right next to mine. I could feel his warm breath on my cheek, and for once, the idiot didn't seem to need a breath mint. I found myself relaxing as the two of us watched the rain pour outside.

And then he kissed me.

Not just a playful, teasing peck on the cheek, either. A real, passionate-filled suck on the lips that unlocked the key to my heart. In that single movement, I felt no desire at all to punch him – a feeling totally alien to me.

It lasted for about two minutes. And then he stopped. He stopped kissing me.

What a jerk. I would like nothing better than to wedge his face in between two boulders and grind them together until his skull became powder.

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--crazykitsune17-- 


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